SINGAPORE: A 26-year-old man found himself in a state of internal conflict after his pregnant girlfriend continuously pestered him to shell out S$2000 for maternity pictures.
Sharing his dilemma in an online forum, he wrote, “In the past few weeks she has been bugging me for maternity pictures (800-2000) dollars. I don’t personally care about those pictures. But she is insisting that she wants them because she always wanted to be a mother. I feel like she is turning the pregnancy into a show off experience.”
Although the man earns a staggering S$120,000 per year, he claims he has been struggling to balance his finances recently due to his girlfriend’s pregnancy expenses.
He shared, “She is about 7 months pregnant. We are in the process of getting a house. So I am trying to keep as much money as I can.
I also have been paying 500 dollars for her doctor visits per month, which totals about 2000 dollars. I am also gonna have to pay for the delivery, which after insurance will cost me close to 3000 dollars.”
Furthermore, he mentioned that his girlfriend planned to stay home for a year after giving birth, a responsibility he initially accepted without hesitation.
“So all the bills will be on me for the year… I am fine with it,” he said. But when his girlfriend urged that they make this arrangement permanent and that she remain at home and not work, that’s when he drew the line.
He disagreed with this idea because she had three pets “which she treated like human kids,” and their expenses alone cost “hundreds of dollars.”
The pressure of impending expenses, along with his girlfriend’s insistence on costly maternity photos, seemed to push him over the edge. He expressed, “I am getting overwhelmed… And I’ll barely survive with all the bills coming my way.”
He also asked the others for tips on how to turn down her girlfriend’s request, writing, “How can I decline without sounding mean?”
“Sit down with her and budget. Seems GF wants a platinum life with no work and has no clue on how real life works”
The majority of commenters advised the man to confront his girlfriend and help her understand the reality of their financial situation.
One suggestion was to create and show her a ‘detailed spreadsheet outlining monthly income, taxes, regular and one-time expenses, savings, retirement plans, and childcare and pet care costs.’
They also stressed the need for him to converse with her regarding the anticipated expenses after the baby’s arrival, such as clothing, diapers, appointments, formula, food, and other necessities.
One commenter wrote, “Sit down with her and budget. Seems GF wants a platinum life with no work and has no clue on how real life works.”
Another said, “It’s likely her demand comes from ignorance. She knows too little about the financial situation. IMO, it’s not good that an adult woman who is going to be a mom is this ignorant about her own financial status.
I would even say it’s a bit alarming. She needs a wake-up call ASAP.”
A third commenter pointed out, “2000 could go towards the child, not some silly photos. She needs to understand the financial pressure you are under and understand that yes while the photos are nice to have they are in no means essential.
That kind of money to be spending on something like that is just absurd, especially in today’s economy.”
Meanwhile, some suggested that he could take them himself rather than hiring a professional photographer for her maternity pictures. This way, he can fulfil her desire without incurring any expenses.
One commenter stated, “Offer to take the pictures for her lol but in all honesty you need to break the finances down to her. And tell her if she wants maternity photos she needs to find them for under X amount.”