Man says his fiancé had an affair with her married colleague for months; when confronted she claims to have stopped it but is still in contact with the guy

SINGAPORE: A man wanted to know if he should continue with the marriage to his fiancé after she had an affair.

In an anonymous post to popular confessions page SGWhispers, the man said he had been in a relationship with his fiance for seven years. He added that they planned to get married the year after but “somehow felt like we drifted in the last couple of months after she changed job”.

He wrote that his fiance would be busy most nights, often out late with her colleagues till 3 am. Even during the times, they were together, she would always be tired or on her handphone, he said.

The man added that he tried speaking to her and preparing small surprises for her, but they did not help.

“The inevitable came when chanced upon her phone and realised that she has an affair with her colleague who is married with kids. This has been going on for months and they did unimaginable stuff which totally broke me”, the man wrote.

He added that she apologised when he confronted her two weeks ago and promised to salvage the relationship. However, despite her doing so, she still was in cordial contact with the married man as they worked together, and she feared backlash.

“So confused now and uneasy. What should I do?” the man asked other netizens.

Here’s what they said in the comments section:

Earlier this year, a supervisor who discovered he had feelings for his junior only wanted to take the relationship further after finding out she started a relationship with another guy. The woman eventually decided to marry the other guy leaving said supervisor with a huge case of buyer’s remorse.

In an anonymous post to confessions page SGWhispers on Facebook, the supervisor wrote that he hired the woman two years ago to work directly under him. “I later developed a crush on her and when we discovered that the feeling was mutual we ended up getting together. Because she reports to me directly, our relationship could not see the day of light. We ended up spending most of our time together at her place or mine. The problem was, I saw what we had as a “relationship” but she saw it as simply an “affair” or “fwb””.

Shortly after, he found out that she had started “a real relationship with someone else”. While he felt cheated, she said that she did not know he was ever serious about her as he never made plans for her to work elsewhere, never asked her to formally be in a relationship with him or even told her about his feelings.

“The thing is, I was very happy and comfortable with the state of our relationship. And she never once mentioned she needed more. I genuinely thought she was happy! We spent a lot of time together and we would talk endlessly over the phone (when we couldn’t be physically together, because we live apart)”, he wrote.

Supervisor in relationship with his subordinate says she only saw it as an affair, she ended up deciding to marry another guy