Sometimes you just have this gut feeling or your instincts telling you that your spouse may be cheating on you. How and when can you know for sure? Here are some dead giveaways:

1. They look different, in a good way

Their appearance may start to improve. This usually means that they want to look more attractive to whoever it is they are having an affair or fling with. Watch out for a new haircut, new underwear, or just an upgrade in their appearance in general.

2. Secretive on the phone or computer

Cheaters tend to use their phones or computer more often than not. They are also extremely careful about hogging these gadgets and making sure no one else has access to them. If your partner never bothered with passwords before and suddenly starts deleting texts and clearing their browser history, it may be time for the alarm bells to go off.

3. Sometimes your partner is simply not reachable

They may say their phone is off, the network is a problem, the battery is dead or flat and a host of other excuses. This may be believable if it’s a one-off, but if it starts happening more often than not, take note. It’s not a good sign. This is especially so when your spouse is not reachable when working late or on a business trip.

4. The sex is less or more than usual or different

Decreased or increased sexual activity can be a sign of unfaithfulness. Less sex may be because he or she is now focused on someone else, and more sex may be because they are covering up something and not wanting you to get suspicious. New techniques or moves in the bedroom are also suspicious, as these tricks could have been learned somewhere else.

5. Defensive and moody

If your partner is defensive and isn’t open or responsive to your questions about what they are doing or how they spend their time, that is also an odd sign. Other signs could be moodiness or irritability in general.

6. Too much or too little information

If they are vague about their evening or weekend plans, this sounds suspicious, and similarly, if they give too much information and extra details to sound convincing, this is also a red flag.

7. They don’t seem present when they are with you

Do they seem distracted, dreamy, or far off when they are with you? If they aren’t as present in mind despite being physically there with you, it could be that mentally they are with someone else.

8. Arrogant and full of themselves.

A cheating partner can sometimes feel superior or entitled and convince themselves that their behaviour is justified. They may also seem callous and completely disregard your feelings. This is especially so if they already had narcissistic traits, to begin with.

9. Things just don’t feel right

If something just feels off, then it usually is. Try to figure out if you aren’t just being suspicious or paranoid. But if you have several of the above signs going on, and you just sense that something isn’t right, don’t ignore it either.

10. Unexplained expenses

Watch out for any unusual expenses on credit cards. If there is less money when there should be more, then it’s time to find out what’s happening. Infidelity doesn’t come cheap and usually involves gifts, trips, dinners and other expenses that can be traced.

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