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A foreign domestic helper who was recently hired seemed to do more of what she wanted as opposed to what her employers needed her to do.

In an anonymous post to Facebook group FDW in Singapore (working conditions forum), an employer who recently got retrenched and had to stay home with her helper and toddler had some questions about handling the helper.

In her post, the employer shared that her toddler was not close to her helper yet, so the latter let her take the reins. “It’s tiring at the same time I wish she could help me more. Do I dump my son on her? Some told me not to choose helping me or not cos is her job”, the employer wrote.

She added: “priority in the household goes to child care chores, but I can tell her passion is cooking and cleaning..many times when I’m home she will be busy in kitchen leaving the baby to me. Unless I make a point to leave house then she will handle the baby herself. Wish she has more initiative”.

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The employer wrote that when it came to purchasing groceries, the maid “enjoys adding on her own snacks/ personal items into the cart with or without me around. She requested for bread at first, now there’s oatmeal, potato chips, juices in my fridge that belongs to her. Is this a norm to pay for her items in this way?”

“Once I had to shuttle my son to school for 2 days only and she requested for ez link card top of $10 when she still has $6 in her card. I don’t wish to be the petty employer but hope she can help to be more thrifty”, she wrote.

She added that she found out that her helper was passionate about cooking. When she wanted to try out a new recipe, the helper would make it every day for the whole week, meaning that the ingredients bought were used up quickly and were wasted because the family could not eat the same meal every day.

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“I think I’m being lenient to her..I do child care when son is home. When son is in school she does cleaning and cooking (mostly dinners) since there’s alway balance from previous night dinner for lunch and my husband eats out prior to coming home in the afternoon. Should I be more firm with her? Overall she has a cheerful personality, very fast hands but can get sloppy if she wants to complete her jobs fast”, the employer wrote.

Other helpers who commented on the post said that the employer needed to be more firm. They advised that she should set boundaries while still being friendly with her helper.

Here’s what they said: