32-year-old man notices women on dating apps are blunt about wanting men with a ‘provider mindset’

SINGAPORE: A 32-year-old man recently returned to the dating scene and quickly realised that things had changed since he was last single. Scrolling through dating app profiles, he noticed that some women were very upfront about what they were looking for in a partner.

In a post on r/sgdatingscene, he shared that he saw profiles with statements like “looking for a man with a provider mindset” or “provider men are charming.” Some matches even asked him directly if he drives and seemed to decide whether to continue talking based on his answer alone.

The man also wrote that although he completely “respects their preferences,” it still feels a bit transactional when the very first question he gets asked is “whether he drives.”

“Just to be clear- I am doing okay financially, have a good job, and can take care of myself. I also always pay for the first date,” he wrote.

“And I do agree that provider man is attractive, and no doubt I would give my best to my other half next time (when I find her).”

Ending his post on a curious note, he asked other forum users whether this is the new normal in Singapore’s dating scene.

“That is because they are incapable of providing for themselves.”

In the comments, one Singaporean Redditor explained that the dating scene has indeed shifted drastically over the years, though not necessarily for the worse.

From his perspective, women today tend to be “better educated,” more independent, and more forward-thinking than in previous generations.

They plan and make projections for the future in a way their mothers may not have, and they place a strong emphasis on values such as “integrity, security, kindness, and honesty.” For some, “age and looks” are not even major factors in their dating choices.

He continued, “They want an equal work-share partner, not someone who lazes around the house playing games and expects the wife (or maid) to handle everything.”

Another Redditor chimed in to clarify that this approach shouldn’t be seen as “transactional.” Everyone has the right to choose who they date, and women are no different. Just as some men may specifically pursue partners who are “slim and attractive,” it’s reasonable for women to have preferences too.

A third Redditor added, “Yes, these women want a man with a provider mindset, but that is because they are incapable of providing for themselves.”

In other news, an unemployed local recently turned to Reddit to ask how the job market is really faring for Singaporeans.

Writing on the r/askSingapore forum, the local, who has four years of experience (most of it in the banking industry) and a PTE degree in economics, shared that it had been eight long months since he last held a full-time job.

Read more: Man with economics degree jobless for 8 months, says he only asked for S$4.5k