29 y/o man ends up with S$70k in debt after years of people-pleasing, says he now survives on S$250 a month to pay it off

SINGAPORE: A man in his late twenties has found himself burdened with S$70,000 in debt after years of attempting to please those around him with money he did not have, a decision he now says he bitterly regrets.

In a post shared on the r/singaporefi subreddit on Sunday (Jan 18), the man explained that his financial troubles began when he was 22. 

At the time, he described himself as a “people pleaser” who felt compelled to play a role in order to fit in socially, regardless of the personal cost.

To maintain this image, he relied heavily on credit cards, borrowed money from licensed moneylenders, and even took out bank loans.

Speaking about his former girlfriend, the man said she never demanded expensive gifts or financial support. 

Nevertheless, driven by what he described as his “own ego,” he went out of his way to provide for her and indulge her, despite not being asked to do so and despite being unable to afford it.

When the relationship eventually came to an end, he admitted that he continued living behind the same carefully constructed “mask.” The spending carried on, as did the pretence, all funded by money he simply did not possess.

Now 29, he’s feeling the full weight of the choices he made. With a modest monthly salary of S$2,500 after CPF deductions, he wrote that he can only afford to cover the interest on his debts each month, leaving the principal almost untouched.

“I am zero in savings already, [and I’m] surviving with S$100-$250 per month. I’m getting too exhausted to carry on,” he expressed. “I am seeking help. I want to restart my life. Even selling myself as a slave to start my life over. Willing to do anything and everything to change my life around. Please help. SOS.”

“Pick yourself up, dust it off, and soldier on.”

Under his post, many netizens left words of encouragement, with one saying, “Money can be earned back, brother. One step at a time. Make sure you take care of your health. Health is something people start to lose rapidly after their 30s. It’s something that is hard to earn back once it’s lost.”

To let him know that it is possible to get back up, another individual shared his personal experience:

“At the age of 31, I lost everything with close to a six-figure debt, and I had 2 kids and an elder to feed. I started back up with a loan of S$1,000 from a friend. Other relatives and friends shunned me when I asked for additional help. I managed to pull through today. First, you need to calm down and list things step by step. There’s only up when you’re at the bottom.”

A third remarked, “Mate, you have a lifetime ahead of you. Failing is not a death sentence but an experience. Pick yourself up, dust it off, and soldier on.”

Meanwhile, some netizens suggested more practical ways to manage his finances. One advised, “Do debt consolidation immediately. If you can’t even clear your monthly principal payments, you’ll just dig a deeper hole for yourself.”

Another added, “It’s gonna sound boring, but the way out of it is just to work and find ways to get a higher-paid job or second job to increase your income, and then pay off the debt bit by bit every month until it’s cleared.”

In other news, a fresh graduate shared on social media that she was dismissed less than an hour into her first day at a retail job, allegedly due to her limited proficiency in Mandarin.

In a post on the r/SGexams subreddit, the young individual said she accepted the position after being informed that she’ll only “need some Chinese to speak with the older customers.” 

However, she claimed that shortly after reporting for work, her supervisor began speaking to her entirely in Mandarin.

Read more: Fresh graduate alleges she was fired within an hour at retail job for poor Mandarin proficiency