‘You will never have a life in Singapore’ — Former SG resident of 20 years says, ‘Everything is just fake’

SINGAPORE: In an Instagram (IG) video posted on April 20, women’s strength and identity coach Jen Balute shared her thoughts after leaving Singapore for the Philippines.

“It’s been 20 days since I left Singapore, and it feels like I left ages ago,” she said, adding that while she is unsure what comes next in her life in the Philippines, she knows the kind of life she wants, which she said, “Sadly, I didn’t see it in Singapore,” expressing her disappointment.

Jen, however, made it clear she wasn’t criticising the country outright. “Singapore is a lovely place, a great place to be,” she explained. “You can make a lot of money. You can have the lifestyle you want,” but “You’re just grinding there,” she shared her perspective that comes from living there as a foreigner and solo entrepreneur for two decades.

“You will have a lifestyle, but you will never have a life in Singapore…”

Jen then described her last 10 years in Singapore as intense and isolating, saying, “You will have a lifestyle, but you will never have a life in Singapore,” because according to her, “Everyone is fighting for power. Everyone is hustling.”

She added that many people seem stuck in “survival mode,” driven by competition and ego, and even “competing for no reason,” leading to a cycle in which they chase success yet feel burnt out.

“You constantly believe you need to hustle and go on holiday to glamorise your lifestyle,” she added further, describing what she sees as a constant pattern of burnout in the people of Singapore.

“You will never have a genuine connection in Singapore…”

A major part of her message focused on relationships among Singaporeans. She opined that “You will never have genuine support, a genuine connection in Singapore. You’re constantly looking for a connection somewhere else.”

She elaborated more that families she knows tend to fill their schedules with activities rather than spend time together. “Even couples or families in Singapore that I know choose to add more activities to their lives rather than spend time with their own families,” she said.

“As a solo person in Singapore, grinding alone, you wonder, where are the genuine connections here?” she pondered, adding that this environment can change people over time: “You become numb in Singapore. You become the kind of person you wouldn’t want to be when you actually observe the people around you in Singapore, people around you in your industry.”

“Everything is just fake…”

She also spoke about how people’s true selves are revealed during difficult times. “You’ll never know who your true friends are and who genuinely cares about you until you go through these three [hardship] phases in your life:

Not when you’re making a lot of money, not when you’re glamorising your life on social media, [but] when you go flat broke, when you become fully honest with yourself, and when you choose to keep going and not give up,” Jen shared her Singapore experience.

“Aside from that, everything else is just fake,” she concluded.

Burnout, cost of living, and work-life balance

Within days of posting her IG video, reactions from netizens poured in. Some agreed with her take on burnout and social pressure. Others pushed back, saying her view was too narrow and shaped by her own circle.

The clip has since also drawn attention among Singaporeans, especially those working long hours or running solo businesses.

Jen’s comments land at a time when conversations about burnout, cost of living, and work-life balance are becoming more common in Singapore.

Many professionals recognise the pressure to perform and keep up. At the same time, others say Singapore offers stability, safety, and opportunity that are hard to match.

Jen’s personal experience in Singapore reflects one side of that equation, especially for those working alone without a strong support system.

Her message is shaped by her own life’s path. It doesn’t necessarily capture the full picture of Singapore, but it does mirror a feeling that some people silently experience.

Nevertheless, as in any other country in the world, including the Philippines, there is no single way to live in Singapore. Some thrive in its pace. Others step away to find something slower and more connected.

The real way of life is to build one that fits you, not one that only looks and feels good from the outside.