SINGAPORE: A woman took to social media to reveal that she lent her ex-boyfriend money, but he has yet to repay it as promised.
“He won’t give it back to me. He promised to send me the S$300 of the investment funds I temporarily lent him. I lent him that money in good faith and told him I need it back,” the woman wrote on Reddit on Saturday (Feb 17).
The woman also shared that she was shocked when she found out that he had gotten a new dog.
“So he can’t send me the money but he gets a new dog???? …idk what to do guys I texted him this evening but he hasn’t responded back…should I reach out to his mom? I just want to move on,” she continued.
She added that her ex-BF kept sending her relationship videos, which annoyed her since she didn’t want to get back together with him. She said that all she needs right now is her money.
“I’m broke rn and really need that,” the woman said.
“Never lend money you couldn’t just as easily afford to set on fire”
In the comments section, a few redditors forced her to face reality, saying that there is no way she can get her money back now.
One redditor said, “You deserve your money and should get it, but here is where we are…It’s a lesson that takes awhile to learn. Never lend money you couldn’t just as easily afford to set on fire. It rarely goes well and many times you end up without your money.
Many times, even if you do get it, it strains relationships and puts people in compromising situations. The only time it doesn’t is if you didn’t really care if you got it back.”
While another commented, “You’re not gonna get that money back. If you truly want to move on then just forget the money. Just let this be a lesson learned. And messaging his mom won’t do any good because she’s more than liked gonna side with her son and she’s not gonna pay you back money that he owes.”
How to get someone to pay you back
Asking an ex-lover, a friend, a family member, or even a colleague for the money they owe you is never easy for many people. It is uncomfortable to bring up the subject, and once you do, the atmosphere becomes increasingly awkward, even if it is only through texts/chats.
However, if you’re determined to get your money back, you may need to rely on your negotiation skills.
Here are some tips on how to get someone to pay you back:
Don’t be aggressive. Never use force to get your money back. Aggressiveness, verbal abuse, and guilt-tripping will only make the situation more tense and more likely to damage your relationship with them.
Ask for updates. Before you inquire about repayments, ask for an update on the purpose for which they borrowed the money. This is a gentle and subtle way to ease into the conversation. For example, “How are your house renovations going so far? Is it done yet?”
Express urgency and set deadlines. When politely asking when the money will be returned, include why you need it back. This will speed up the borrower’s payments by instilling a sense of urgency. Also, while you’re on the subject, set a deadline to repay the loan.
For instance, you may draw attention to your own financial circumstances by saying something like, “Can you pay me back in two weeks, on the first of the month? I could really use that cash back because my rent is due.”
Ask them if they prefer to pay in instalments. Agreeing on an instalment payment plan can be a reasonable compromise if the other party cannot pay you back all at once. Through this setup, they gradually repay their loan, and you get some of the money back. It’s a win-win.
Read also: What to do if your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend still owes you money