SINGAPORE: A woman took to Reddit to ask locals if she should continue dating a man who “suddenly lost his job.”
Posting on the sgdatingscene forum on Wednesday (Nov 12), she explained that she had only been seeing this man for about two to three months and that the two of them were not “officially together” at that point.
She also clarified that if they had already been in a committed relationship or married, she would certainly have tried her best to support him during this difficult period. However, given that they have yet to establish any real commitment, she is uncertain whether it makes sense to continue seeing him.
Providing more context, the woman shared that throughout their time dating, she had always paid for her own share of meals and activities, and intended to keep doing so. That said, she admitted that she would feel uncomfortable covering the costs for both of them “indefinitely,” especially since she does not yet know him well enough to feel responsible for his expenses.
She went on to mention a few red flags that have begun to concern her. According to her post, the man lives “paycheck to paycheck” despite earning a decent salary. On one occasion, she suggested having a simple dinner near his workplace, costing less than S$15, but he declined, saying that he could not afford it because his salary had not yet been credited.
“I don’t know much about his finances, but it did seem quite serious to me, to not even have S$15 for a meal.. And I did offer to pay for him, but it’s still shocking to me for someone to be that strapped for cash.”
She added that while the man had generally treated her well, these warning signs had made her hesitant. “I’m still trying to observe if it could be a dealbreaker; hence, I’m not 100% sure about him now,” she wrote.
“Although I don’t think I’m money-minded, I value stability. In this case, I’m really thinking if I would be okay with this, especially since it’s so hard to land a job and there’s uncertainty on how long the unemployment period would go on for, months or even years.”
“If I am the guy, I will label you as a red flag and cut you off.”
In the comments section, many criticised the woman for failing to recognise that the man could be going through one of the lowest points in his life, and that leaving him now might only make things worse.
“What’s wrong with losing a job suddenly?” one Singaporean Reddit user said. “It’s not like he wanted that, right? If you mind, then I don’t think you’re the right one for him. Try putting yourself in his shoes.”
“If you can’t stand him at his worst, then surely you don’t deserve him at his best,” another commented. “If I am the guy, I will label you as a red flag and cut you off.”
“Everybody experiences ups and downs in life, and that includes you. However, I would say that you should ask him to chip in some during dates, lah. Cannot be totally you, right?”
A third said, “It would be a double whammy to get dumped just because I got fired from work. Adulting is hard enough, especially in this economy.”
A fourth added, “I really pity your partner in the future if they ever get retrenched.”
Some, however, sided with the woman, saying that they could understand where her concerns were coming from.
One argued, “If he can’t even hold down a job, how is he even going to support a family? The hard truth is going to hurt, but money talks. If he can’t even feed himself, don’t sabotage others by tying them down to sink like a rock.”
Another advised, “Take whatever you read here with a pinch of salt, and talk and discuss with him about your concern. Don’t speculate so much based on what others advise you… Afterwards, make your own judgement from there on.”
In other news, a staff member at the National University of Singapore (NUS) took to social media to share that he no longer feels proud of the institution after witnessing “the politics, the hypocrisy, the unfair promotions,” and the recent removal of work-from-home arrangements.
In a post shared on the NUSWhispers Facebook page on Thursday (Nov 6), the individual said that in his early days, he “genuinely loved his job.”
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