SINGAPORE: Imagine thinking you’re in a committed marriage, only to stumble upon your husband’s dating profile. That’s exactly what happened to one Singaporean woman, who was shocked to find her Hungarian husband swiping away on Bumble.
According to the woman, he is currently employed at a well-known research institution in Singapore and has a profile that allegedly included inappropriate or even “racist” remarks.
To make matters worse, she claimed that one of his pictures appeared to be taken in his workplace. Expressing her disbelief, she remarked,“How ridiculous. A picture taken in his office during work?!”
Is this common?
Unfortunately, this kind of thing happens way more often than people think. A 2015 study by research firm GlobalWebIndex surveyed 47,000 dating app users, and a shocking 42% admitted they weren’t actually single.
Out of that group, 30% were married, while another 12% were in relationships.
Other studies also estimated that anywhere from 18% to 25% of dating app users are already in committed partnerships.
Is this considered cheating?
Is simply having a dating profile while in a committed relationship already a betrayal? Or does the line only get crossed when things turn physical?
For many, merely having a dating app while being married is already seen as emotional cheating. Even if the person isn’t actually messaging anyone or meeting up, the fact that they’re scrolling and checking out potential matches suggests they’re not fully committed to their relationship anymore.
Effects of emotional cheating
According to Psych Central, individuals who have been emotionally cheated on may experience a range of psychological effects, including chronic anxiety, self-doubt, and depression. In more severe cases, they may even exhibit symptoms akin to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
Beyond the couple, the impact of emotional infidelity can extend to their children. Children are highly perceptive and often pick up on subtle shifts in their parents’ behavior and emotional states.
If one parent seems distracted, distant, or emotionally invested in someone outside the family, the child may feel confused, anxious, or even abandoned. They may also struggle to understand why the dynamic at home has changed and, in some cases, blame themselves.
In a survey conducted by psychologist Ana Nogales with 800 adult children of unfaithful parents, the findings were pretty eye-opening.
About 88.4% felt angry at the parent who cheated, 62.5% felt embarrassed or ashamed, 80.2% believed it affected their views on love, 70.5% reported that their capacity to trust others had been compromised, and 83% felt that people often lie to others.
These results show how emotional cheating can leave deep and lasting scars, not just for the partners but for the whole family.