Why do some people attract losers

You’re intelligent, reasonably attractive, have a good sense of humour and style, and yet all you ever attract are a bunch of losers.

Sound familiar?

Here are some possible mistakes you may be making without realizing it.

1. Not prioritizing yourself

There may be many options out there in the dating world. But don’t sit on the sidelines waiting while the person you are dating happily plays the field. Don’t hand your heart over if the person you’re seeing does not place an equal value on the relationship. Make sure you’re on the same page, or else move on.

2. There is no need to give multiple chances to someone who continuously disappoints and disrespects you

Everyone screws up sometimes, but if it keeps happening again, and again, it’s no longer a mistake and there is no need to keep giving the benefit of the doubt to someone who hurts you all the time, nor to forgive them and put up with the same mistakes over and over again.

3. Boundaries are there for a reason, stop moving them and bending them all over the place

Yes, one must be flexible at times, but not to the point where you keep moving the goalpost for something that is really important to you just to accommodate the needs of a significant other. If commitment/marriage is important to you, and you keep allowing your partner to say no and agree to ‘postpone’ things indefinitely, it sends a message that it’s not important to you, so why should it be important to them?

4. Expecting to be ‘looked after’ financially

If you’re being supported financially by your partner, be prepared to be seen as just another item that is expandable and can be purchased. Yes, it’s nice to get gifts and presents, but it’s also important to show that you’re more than able to take care of yourself and that you’re financially independent.

You will also find that when you’re not looking for someone to ‘support you’ your dating pool expands significantly.

5. Don’t see your partner as someone you need to fix.

Don’t try to fix him. Thinking that maybe you will be the one to change something in him, or maybe you can get him out of something. No, it’s not your job to fix a grown man. Don’t waste your precious time and energy to make someone normal — finding normal is a lot easier.

6. Don’t hide and minimise yourself

Don’t minimise yourself to satisfy another person’s ego. A man or woman should be able to accept you as you are. There is no need to constantly play yourself down to make the other person feel good, especially if you may have more accomplishments than them. It’s good to be humble, but there is no need to minimise yourself to such an extent that you no longer recognize yourself.

7. Be very clear about what you want

If you want to get married and settle down, it is high time you stop dating emotionally unavailable men, no matter how hot, interesting or intellectual they may be. You’re wasting your time and setting yourself up for heartbreak down the road.

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