Uni student says her parents are encouraging her to get married while still in school for BTO and other government benefits

SINGAPORE: While most university students are busy chasing deadlines, maintaining their GPA, or doing part-time work, one young woman is being nudged towards something a little more life-changing: marriage.

Posting on Reddit’s ‘SGexams’ forum, she shared that in the middle of a family conversation about her future, her parents suggested she consider getting married before graduation.

Her parents made the case that since many Singaporean guys only finish their studies in their late twenties or thirties because of “National Service and university,” it might be smarter for her to settle down earlier. They believed that if she already has a serious boyfriend and both families are on board, there’s really no reason to wait.

They also pointed out the practical side of things. If the couple gets married early, they can apply for a “BTO (build-to-order) flat” sooner and tap into “government benefits for married couples.” In their view, this would give them a head start in life.

“[They said] we will get all the gov’t subsidies for married couples early on! We have a head start in life, and by the time we graduate, we will be moving into BTO earlier than everyone else if that’s how it works. STAYING AHEAD OF THE CURVE. Why rush to settle down after graduation when you can settle everything during school,” they told her.

Wondering if this was indeed a great idea, she asked the local community: “Do any couples actually marry while both (or one) are still attending school? Is this a common sentiment in SG? Will gov’t start encouraging early marriage soon?”

“Uncommon, only happens if parents are absolutely loaded.”

In the comments, several Redditors said that while the idea is uncommon, it’s not entirely unheard of. A few mentioned that they knew peers, usually from wealthier families, who got married while still in university.

“My friend got married while in uni, but his partner is working,” one shared. “His dad provides the down payment for his BTO. Dad is rich.”

Another commented, “Uncommon, only happens if parents are absolutely loaded.”

Others chimed in to say they disagreed with the woman’s parents, arguing that marriage is a serious commitment that shouldn’t be rushed just for the sake of housing benefits.

One said, “Personally, I feel that marriage is a lifetime commitment. You must feel ready for it and not on the advice or push from others, no matter how beneficial it sounds.”

Another pointed out, “How sure are you that your bf/gf is the one you want to be with forever? I personally feel it’s better to work first. In a work environment, you get exposed to more people of different age groups, personalities, who know you may meet someone whom you feel is more suitable for you?”

A third shared, “I got married early at 22 due to family circumstances and regretted it. I told my kids don’t rush and go out see the world and establish your careers first.”

Is BTO influencing marriage trends in Singapore?

A study by the National University of Singapore (NUS), reported by The Business Times, found that marriage rates have increased since the launch of the BTO scheme in 2001 and its expansion in 2011. Among women aged 25 to 29, the rate rose from 45% to nearly 60%. For men aged 30 to 34, it increased from 22% to 37%.

The study also observed a rise in divorce rates. Among women aged 30 to 34, the rate increased from 4% to 7.2%, while for men aged 35 to 39, it rose from 3.5% to 6.3%.

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Featured image by freepik (for illustration purposes only)