Singapore student says working man promised her ‘princess treatment’ then sent PayNow request three weeks after their only date

SINGAPORE: A dispute between a student in Singapore and a working professional she went on a single date with has gone viral online, attracting comments from all around the world, after she posted a screenshot of his text message on the Am I Overreacting (AIO) subreddit.

The young woman told the world that the Singapore man ghosted her after their only date and then contacted her three weeks later to ask for reimbursement for the meal.

In his text message to her, the man thanked her for the date before explaining that he did not feel they were the right match and wished to end any further contact. He then requested payment for her portion of the date.

He wrote, “Hi, Thanks for the date, had a great night with you – I enjoyed the company. But after thinking about it, I don’t feel we’re the right match moving forward, so I think it’s best we just split the date and leave it here.

“Your share comes to 57.95 SGD (burger + drink). If easier, you can just cover the food amount of 33.95 SGD instead & drinks on me.

“You can PayNow or if you dont have paynow, you can pass cash to a friend who has paynow and ask them to transfer to me. Please send me the payment proof once done.”

In her post, the woman said the man had been the one to initiate the date, choose the venue and assure her she would receive “princess treatment.” She added that after the date he did not contact her for three weeks.

Believing he was no longer interested, she deleted their match on the dating app. However, she later discovered that he had apparently saved her phone number before she removed the match, allowing him to contact her weeks later.

The woman also noted that she is still a student, while the man holds what she described as a good position at a large company.

Questioning whether she was wrong for not wanting to reimburse him, she asked fellow Reddit users if she was overreacting.

The post quickly attracted hundreds of reactions, with many commenters expressing disbelief at the timing of the request and criticising the man’s approach.

One commenter suggested simply pretending not to know who he was, writing that she should respond, “Sorry, you have the wrong number.”

Several Redditors argued that discussions about splitting expenses should take place during or immediately after a date, not weeks later. “You talk about it during the date if you want to split the tab or not. Only a complete moron would come begging several weeks later for a few tenners,” one commenter wrote.

Others encouraged the woman to ignore the message altogether. “He sounds like a loser, I’d block the number and move on. Signed, a man,” one Redditor commented.

The request for proof of payment became a recurring point of discussion throughout the thread. One netizen laughed: “Please send me the payment proof once done” or else what lmaoo.”

“Can we talk about the proof of payment request? Like what in the fresh hell is going on here?” another commenter remarked.

A number of Redditors said they generally support splitting bills on dates but felt the circumstances made this case unusual.

“Just nah, from a man. No. If you ask someone to go somewhere you’ve chosen, you’re offering it as a date you’re paying for, unless you agree to something else from the start,” one commenter wrote, “He asked you out, took you to a spot he chose, got your number, didn’t say a word for 3 weeks, then sent you a bill? I’d probably laugh so hard, I’d snort!”

Others focused on the delay itself, with one commenter saying, “WTH!!! He is doing this 3 weeks later. No way! He is desperate for money, and just using this as an excuse. Plus it’s rude to ask way after the fact.”

Touching on the practice of “going Dutch” on dates, one Reddit user from the Netherlands noted that while splitting bills is common in their country, requesting payment weeks later would still be considered inappropriate.

“In Netherlands we are very keen on splitting a bill, even for us this is not done,” the commenter wrote.

While opinions on who should pay on a first date often vary, the overwhelming majority of responses in the thread sided with the woman, with many describing the request for reimbursement as awkward, tacky and inappropriate.