SINGAPORE: A Singaporean man took his concern on social media about revealing his salary when dating. Prompting Singaporeans’ response, he shared, “Girl I’m dating asks for my salary and net worth.”
He explained, “Im dating this girl whom I met on dating app and we have gone for 3 dates and things are going well. Late last night, she texted me and asked if im okay to reveal my salary and net worth along with a screenshot of my latest payslip. She said it’s good to know the figures early for future planning and she believes in equal financial contributions in a rs. To be fair she’ll also reveal hers and she told me she even has a detailed excel sheet with all her savings, investments, spending etc all tracked and she can send to me.”
Not knowing how to respond, he added, “Im not sure exactly how to respond yet as it’s the first time I’ve been asked this way. I’ve tried to buy some time before deciding whether to reveal. For context, we are both in late 20s and we also said early on we are only looking for serious rs, ie. no dating just for fun and exploring and we would either go serious or break off early if things dont work out considering our age.”
Wondering if the situation he’s in is normal, he asked, “Would yall be ok if someone u are dating asks point blank on your salary? Do you need to know the exact salary and net worth of your partner before settling down?”
A Redditor named Jammy_buttons2 jokingly commented, “You are dating a financial advisor looking for clients lol.” dioprem shared his thoughts about sharing payslips online, saying, “Screenshot of payslip? That’s very odd to say the least.”
waxqube who probably read many news on scams added, “With so much scams these days, better be careful. Screenshot of payslip sounds oddly specific and could be used for signing up for certain services? Even she revealed her figures first, how would you know it’s from another guy or not? Sorry to be cynical but put your big head before your small head lol.”
JonWayne73, a married Redditor, shared humorously, “i don’t even show my payslip to my wife.” Eec11 however, had a simple solution, “Just say no if you are not comfortable.”
This real-life scenario mirrors the findings of Dr. Peter Jonason’s research on mate preferences.
According to Dr Peter Jonason, an expert in personality psychology at the University of Western Sydney, “Research on mate preferences has long found that individuals who have access to valuable resources are highly desirable as romantic partners, in particular to women.”
In three studies involving 668 participants, researchers looked at what people preferred in partners when it came to money, whether it was earned from work, inherited, or obtained in other ways.
In one of the studies, 100 women took part in an online survey where they had to choose between men who either earned their money or inherited it in various types of relationships, from serious ones like marriage to casual ones like one-night stands.
The results showed that 90% of women preferred men who had earned their money, while only 5% were interested in men who inherited their wealth.
For one-night stands, less than 60% of women wanted a partner who earned their money, and only 40% preferred someone who inherited it.
Dr Jonason noted that as relationships became less serious, women were less insistent on partners who had earned their money. However, regardless of how serious the relationship was, women still tended to prefer partners who had earned their money. It’s just that their criteria for selecting partners became more relaxed in casual relationships.