SG worker questions after-work drinking culture after being forced to drink past midnight

SINGAPORE: Ask any striving corporate worker out there, and they will tell you that fitting in with colleagues and pleasing the bosses is perhaps just as hard as the job itself. It is worse for introverts.

Unfortunately, it is part and parcel of working life, but one Singaporean recently challenged this online when he asked, "Can I refuse going to company parties or karaoke sessions?"

In a post on Reddit's r/askSingapore, the worker shared the context behind the question, saying he had recently attended a company dinner and karaoke session where he was forced to drink by his manager and made to stand up and have fun because apparently the boss thought things were getting lame. “Mind you, it was nearing 12 am at that point,” he wrote.

To be clear, he says he is not shy or antisocial. He calls himself “outgoing,” “professional,” and someone who has never played the introvert card to get out of work, but after his boundaries were crossed that night, he felt the urge to do something about it next time.

Unable to come up with a plan for how to get out of this kind of humiliating ritual, he asked, “Is there any way I can go for dinner but not join the drinking and karaoke next time without it looking bad? I swear it was the worst.”

‘Just be direct’

Many readers who had endured the same mortifying ordeal offered advice on how he could avoid ending up in that position again.

Some proposed inventing excuses. One said, “Say you have a stomachache. Say your partner is waiting for you at home to bring her food/medicine, etc.”

Another recalled, “I actually told my ex-supervisor (who loves to drink) that I'll get allergic reactions such as hives and rashes on my skin if I consume alcohol. Respectful and mature drinkers who ‘know the game’ will understand and won't pursue further because they don't want to bear any consequences.”

A third user chimed in, “Best excuse is that you are a caregiver for your parents after work LOL.”

Others felt being straightforward works better, suggesting he turn up, have a pint or nurse it through the night before switching to soft drinks, and explain he cannot drink much for health reasons. The idea is to show support and “give face,” which is often all that is expected. 

If that dynamic does not suit him, they added, he could consider “changing jobs,” though there’s no guarantee that the next workplace would be the same.

One user advised, “Don’t overthink it. If you need to go, then you go. If for any reason your Manager treats you differently because you didn’t join the fun, then it tells you a lot about the company.”

Another told him, “Just be direct—’I sleep early and don't drink’.”/TISG

Read also: Poly graduate unemployed for 7 months says job hunting in Singapore is ‘so discouraging’