SG man says earning around S$100K a year is still not enough for his fiancée, who compares him to people making S$30K to S$40K a month

SINGAPORE: One Singaporean man is wondering whether love alone is enough to save his relationship after his fiancée told him that earning S$100,000 a year still isn’t “sufficient.”

The 30-year-old shared his situation on the r/asksg forum on Wednesday (May 27), saying he and his partner have been together for five years and are due to wed in the next few months. 

However, he admitted that instead of being excited about the wedding, he feels stressed, drained, and honestly quite defeated.

According to him, his fiancée keeps comparing him to people around her who are allegedly earning S$30,000 to S$40,000 a month.

“[She feels I’m] lacking behind because there are people around her earning S$30-40k/month,” he said. 

“Yes, I can be a provider, to provide food, etc. But it has come to my realisation that I have to buy luxury bags whenever she wants, cover the entire vacation cost whenever she wants, and that I am falling behind because I do not have a second, third, or fourth income.”

He also confessed that she has made him feel “very useless in society” and like he’s “nothing” if he cannot immediately pay for whatever she wants.

What upset him even more was her response when he tried to suggest budgeting and planning for the future together. Instead of discussing finances as a team, she simply told him to “earn more money.”

“It’s never enough,” he lamented. “I feel it’s her comments about how I’m way below societal norms when it comes to my income—[saying] why others can do things I can’t—that make me feel bad. And yes, maybe she means it to push me to do better, but I feel like I’ll never reach the end goal.”

“You deserve someone better!”

Many commenters felt the man was already doing well for himself and questioned why he was being made to feel inadequate by his partner.

One user said, “Your earnings are already really good, but she’s whining? Sorry, she sounds like someone who just talks down on every single thing you do.”

Another wrote, “Celebrate your personal wins. 30M earning ~100k PA is commendable.”

Some also urged the man to leave the relationship. One individual explained, “Leave. 5 years is a long time, but spending the rest of your life feeling ‘not enough’ is even longer.”

“A partner should make you feel valued, appreciated, and supported, not constantly compared to other people’s incomes or lifestyles. From your post, it sounds less like she cares about you as a person and more about what you can provide for her image and expectations.”

Another added, “If my son is dating a woman like that, I will ask him to cut his losses. Losing the deposit for whatever you’ve paid for is cheaper than the divorce procedure in the future. You deserve someone better!”

In other news, a man in his 20s recently shared that his strict parents, who take 15% of his salary every month, expect him to buy a home by the time he turns 35.

In a post on the r/asksg subreddit, he shared his fears, saying he does not have enough money to fulfil his parents’ wishes.

Read more: Man says parents take 15% of his pay, leaving him unable to save for a home