SG man earning $3K considers buying car to feel ‘seen’ in dating scene

SINGAPORE: A candid anonymous post on the Singapore Uncensored Facebook page has captured eyeballs online, with some saying it sheds light on the pressures young Singaporeans face navigating dating, finances, and societal expectations.

The 26-year-old writer, who said he is working in an entry-level administrative role, described reaching a “breaking point” after seeing his ex-girlfriend being picked up by another man in what he described as a “continental SUV.”

“In Singapore, the ‘5Cs’ aren’t just a meme—they are the social tax you pay to be seen,” he wrote, referencing the long-standing markers of success in the country, namely cash, car, credit card, condominium and country club membership.

Earning S$3,000 a month after CPF contributions, with a take-home pay of about S$2,400, the man said he perceives an uneven playing field in the dating scene, particularly for those without private transport.

“If you don’t have a car here, you’re playing the dating game on ‘Extreme Hardcore’ mode,” he said, adding that even simple logistics like walking from an MRT station in the heat could dampen a date.

In response, he detailed a controversial plan he dubbed the “Scrap Car Strategy,” which entails buying an older vehicle nearing the end of its Certificate of Entitlement (COE), specifically models like a Kia Cerato or Mazda 3 with less than a year remaining. Listings for such vehicles, he noted, can be found for between S$8,000 and S$10,000 on online marketplaces such as Carousell.

To finance the purchase, he intends to take out a personal loan, budgeting around S$700 monthly for loan repayments and insurance, and an additional S$400 for petrol and parking. This would leave him with approximately $1,300 for all other expenses.

“It’s tight. It’s ‘cai fan’ every day for lunch,” he admitted, but maintained that the trade-off would be worth it for the perceived lifestyle upgrade.

“I know the car is a depreciating asset… but my youth is also a depreciating asset,” he wrote, “I’m spending nearly 50% of my disposable income on a metal box just so I can finally feel like I’m part of the ‘real’ Singapore.”

The post quickly gained traction, drawing a wide range of reactions from netizens.

One Facebook user cautioned against equating material possessions with relationship value, writing: “The gf attracted by a car is the gf to avoid.”

Another netizen urged financial prudence: “Bro, don’t financially kill yourself by getting a partner. It’s ok to be single. Make sure to add value to yourself and earn enough when the right one comes along. There’s always a bigger car.”

Others took a more critical tone. “He’s gonna be the guy crying at the gas station.”

Meanwhile, another who identified herself as a relationship and career coach pushed back strongly against the premise. “As a woman. Don’t,” she wrote, “My husband and almost none of my exes had cars… My first date with my husband was at a hawker centre.”

She added that the post appeared to stem from deeper insecurities. “Right now it reads like an internal narrative of, ‘I’m not good enough, maybe more women will like me if I have a car.’ This sounds so far from what it takes to have a fulfilling relationship.”