‘School instructor massages my neck and shoulder without my permission’ — Woman asks, ‘Is this supposed to be normal/friendly workplace behavior?’

SINGAPORE: It all started with a shoulder rub, not the kind you request at a spa, but the unsolicited, spine-chilling type that creeps up from behind your desk.

That’s exactly what a Singaporean woman experienced, who then shared her troubling story on Reddit’s r/SingaporeRaw, sparking discomfort, outrage, and a much-needed conversation about workplace boundaries.

“There’s someone at my workplace (married, around 49–50 years old) who gets way too touchy, but only with the ladies,” she explained the case, and among his inappropriate behaviours were:

• Unsolicited neck and shoulder massages — with bare hands.
• Brushing arms “casually” as he walked by.
• Comments about women’s legs and outfits.
• Asking students inappropriate questions, such as whether their mothers are “curvy or pretty.”

He’s also a school instructor/educator, which raises even more red flags. “He’s supposed to set an example,” the woman added. “Yet he even asks students if their mothers are ‘curvy or pretty,’ and makes comments about female colleagues’ legs or outfits, saying how good it feels to see them.”

The woman also says she wasn’t the only one experiencing it. She has witnessed the same behaviour toward both married and unmarried female colleagues, as well as students. “That makes me feel even more unsafe,” she said.

HR silence

The woman claims she already reported the matter internally and to the Tripartite Alliance for Fair and Progressive Employment Practices (TAFEP), but “All they mentioned was that the HR will be contacted and alerted about it. Til now, it’s been a few months. Nothing,” she said.

No update. No resolution. No accountability.

So the Reddit community didn’t hold back either. One commenter was crystal clear on what to do next: “Make a police report. Say you received an unsolicited massage, lor.”

Another even gave detailed steps:

• Gather accounts from affected students and colleagues.
• Record discreet video evidence.
• Alert higher authorities — from HR to the MOE (Ministry of Education) superintendent (if it’s a public school).
• Make it known: If nothing’s done, say you will go public.

Another comment simply cut to the chase: “Your management will not do anything until they are in trouble themselves.”

Some recommended contacting AWARE, the advocacy group supporting women’s rights and safety in Singapore: https://www.aware.org.sg

Is it really workplace harassment?

Let’s be clear on what he did:

• Uninvited physical contact
• Targeting specific genders
• Making comments about appearance
• Repeated behaviour despite discomfort

That’s just not “normal” or “being friendly.” That’s textbook harassment.

Singapore’s Protection from Harassment Act provides legal recourse for such behaviour, but when institutions drag their feet — or worse, stay silent — victims are left wondering: How many more shoulder rubs will it take before someone does something?

This is not just a woman’s issue

This isn’t only about protecting women. It’s about keeping all workplaces — especially schools — safe, respectful, and professional for everyone.

Because when an instructor/educator uses his role to intimidate instead of inspire, the message he’s sending isn’t educational. It’s predatory.

Read related: ‘What kind of admin office job in SG forces staff to carry a pail of water to fill the fish tank, on the first day even?’ — S’poreans share their toxic work culture experience