‘My boyfriend is clearly not over his ex – what should I do?’ — Girlfriend seeks advice

Nobody wants to be anyone else’s sloppy seconds, right? And when a woman who claimed that her boyfriend is still hung up on his ex-girlfriend sought advice online, many commenters told her it was time to say goodbye, while others said she needs to trust her partner.

“I have been together with my bf for almost 2 years now and I don’t know if he truly loves me or just being together with me because I’m submissive and always puts him first,” a woman wrote in an NUS Whispers post that was published on Thursday (July 7).

She said that when they were just beginning to date, she saw a “family photo with his first love in it on his computer table,” but said nothing about it at first.

But one day, when her boyfriend “suddenly compared me to his first ex infront his friends when we were drinking,” she mentioned that the photo of his ex made her uncomfortable, and he took it away.

However, he still keeps tabs on his ex via social media and the two exchange greetings on holidays. 

“He follows her and her sis on Instagram and likes almost every photo of hers. I told him I was uncomfortable with it but he carried on with it. 

Fast forward to last year, I realized that the both of them still wish each other happy new year and birthday.”

When she confronted him, they nearly broke up “because I asked him to unfollow and not reply (to) his ex.”

She said that her boyfriend told her, “I cannot don’t reply someone when I’m in good terms with them but I can don’t text her happy birthday”.

They then reached a compromise: he would not unfollow her but would no longer like her pictures, and if she texted him, he would let his girlfriend know. 

However, the boyfriend appeared to have found a workaround, as the woman wrote that she “still found him liking her sister’s photos with his ex in it.”

“What should I do?” she asked.

Many netizens told her to end the relationship, with one commenter calling it “toxic.”

“How can you expect a man to value you when you do not even value yourself?” asked another.

A number of netizens encouraged her to love herself.

“It seems like he chose himself over you,” one netizen observed.

“Why would you need a man if this man makes you feel insecure and unloved, as opposed to being secure and loved while not in a relationship?” asked another.

Others said, however, that they think the woman is being unnecessarily paranoid over the ex-girlfriend.

“Learn to trust your partner, a little at a time and then see where it goes. It is not easy, I know, but then again nothing is ever really easy,” one wrote.

/TISG

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