Man witnesses 5 yo child slap maid across the face in public, asks, ‘Who’s responsible when kids abuse domestic helpers?’

SINGAPORE: What happens when the abuser isn’t an adult, but a child? And more importantly, who should be held accountable when children mistreat or even physically harm their family’s domestic helper?

That was the troubling question raised by a man who took to Reddit after witnessing a disturbing incident involving a young boy and his helper.

Posting anonymously on the r/SingaporeR forum on Thursday (Oct 16), the man shared that he had just seen a boy slap his maid across the face in public. Before that, he had also noticed the child repeatedly hitting her hand at an eatery after not getting what he wanted.

According to the witness, the parents eventually stepped in and pulled the boy away, but what shocked him most was that they never asked the child to apologise. That small detail, he said, made him suspect this wasn’t the first time such behaviour had happened at home.

“There are probably many such scenes playing out at home,” the man wrote. 

Concerned that this may not be an isolated case, he turned to the online community to ask a difficult but important question: “How can maids be protected from abusive kids? Who’s responsible when children abuse domestic helpers? Should parents be responsible?”

“The parents instilled this kind of value in their kids.”

In the comments section, the majority of the readers asserted that the responsibility clearly lies with the parents.

One user commented, “Parents, of course! And I would actually confront them TBH, but then, I have very thick skin. You can scare them a bit and tell them it is a reportable offence to the police—because if they let the kid do that, there are probably other instances, possible physical bruising, etc, on her, that can substantiate ill treatment.”

Another remarked, “Parents are responsible. But definitely the parents instilled this kind of value in their kids.”

A third said, “If the child assaulted her in public like that, the kid learned it from its parents, because they likely modelled such behaviour – do you have any indication of who they were? Snuck a picture of the parents that you could show to the police?”

A fourth Redditor, however, took a different stance from the majority and argued that five-year-old kids “are not capable of abuse”.

They explained, “An FDW can physically restrain the child, scold the child, etc. Maybe not when the parents are around, but certainly when she’s taking care of the kid alone. If you think the parents are neglectful, then surely the helper is spending more time raising the child, so it’s on her also if she cannot get the kid to behave.”

They added, “Second, you don’t know the context behind what you’ve seen. Maybe the kid is autistic, and that’s why he still acts like a toddler, lashing out, and the helper accepted the job knowing this.”

Report physical abuse incidents

According to the Ministry of Manpower, anyone who witnesses or suspects that a foreign domestic worker (FDW) is being abused should report the matter to the police.

All complaints of abuse are investigated, and if convicted, the employer and their spouse will be permanently banned from hiring another helper.

Punishment for perpetrators

As per Singapore Legal Advice’s website, those who physically abuse or cause bodily harm to a maid can face a fine of up to S$5,000 or imprisonment for up to three years.

Anyone who witnesses such abuse and fails to take action, such as a household member, can also be fined up to S$4,000 or jailed for up to four years.

Read also: Singapore tech employee says his role will be outsourced to India in 6 months, seeks advice on how to prepare for retrenchment