SINGAPORE: We’ve all probably witnessed it at some point. A commuter snapping at someone over a seat, a customer losing patience with a service staff member, or a stranger responding to a perfectly ordinary question with a tone that feels unnecessarily sharp.
None of these encounters may seem particularly remarkable on their own, but when you see them happen often enough, it can make you wonder whether we have become a little too accustomed to speaking harshly to one another.
Recently, a Redditor brought up this concern on the r/singaporespeaks forum, asking other locals: “Do you think we have become too used to speaking harshly to one another in Singapore? I have been thinking about this for a while, especially after living and working around different kinds of people in Singapore.”
“I feel like many of us are used to being spoken to harshly. It can happen at work, in public, at shops, at service counters, in family settings, or even in normal daily conversations.”
“Sometimes it is not even a major insult. It is the tone, the impatience, the way someone talks as if the other person is stupid, slow, useless, or wasting their time.”
The strange thing about this whole thing, she added, is that the person spewing rude and condescending statements often “moves on like nothing happened.”
On the other hand, the person on the receiving end may carry it for the rest of the day, sometimes even longer.
She believes repeated encounters like these can also affect how people behave around others.
“It can change how they speak, how confident they feel, how careful they become, and how much of themselves they hide.”
‘I used to think I was just sensitive’
The woman admitted that she once wondered whether she was simply being too sensitive.
However, getting older, she said, had made her realise that words can have an immense impact on a person’s life.
“The older I get, the more I feel that words really do shape people. A lot of people here are stressed, tired, and worried about money, work, family, housing, retirement, and just surviving. I understand that, but sometimes that stress comes out as anger towards the next person who happens to be nearby.”
Moreover, she said she was bothered by how normalised this behaviour had become.
“We often say things like ‘that is just how they talk’ or ‘don’t take it personally.’ But maybe we should take it a bit more seriously. Not every person can just brush it off. Some people are already trying very hard to hold themselves together.”
She continued, “I am not saying everyone has to speak perfectly all the time. I also know I have probably said things badly before, but I think Singapore would feel a lot less heavy if people were more aware of how their words land on others. Sometimes being kinder does not mean being soft. It just means remembering that the person in front of you is also carrying something.”
‘People seem to be getting more stressed…’
The post struck a chord with other locals, who also thought that speaking harshly to a stranger had become something of a norm in the city-state.
One user shared, “Yes!! I’ve been thinking about it lately too. Even though I’ve lived here all my life, I still can’t get used to it. Sometimes I feel like I can’t fit in because it doesn’t feel right for me to talk to people that way, and I wouldn’t know how to act either if people spoke to me like that.”
Another commented, “Yep, that’s right. I feel that people often do not realise that how they communicate/execute things is also just as important as the intentions behind it.”
A third chimed in, “People seem to be getting more stressed, less patient, more time-poor, and more tempered. So they speak harshly to others. Is that kind of harsh speech justified?”
A fourth added, “I strongly agree with the online sentiment; it really makes me want to engage less, and spend less time online more often. That being said, I try my best not to contribute to the negativity if I think I can.”/TISG
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