Hong Kong — Leanne Fu, wife of Hong Kong singer Jason Chan just revealed her heartbreak of having to terminate two pregnancies within a year.

In 2018, the 35-year-old model-actress gave birth to a daughter and had wanted another child. In May last year, Fu was forced to terminate her pregnancy when doctors found out that she was having an ectopic pregnancy, as the fertilised egg was growing outside the uterus. Fu had to abort another pregnancy earlier this week as she found out that the foetus was diagnosed with Edwards syndrome.

Babies with Edwards syndrome are usually tiny with heart defects and only a small percentage of babies born alive with the syndrome will survive past their first birthday.

She wrote, “Dear baby who’s 13 weeks old, I’ve tried month after month to conceive since last [year] and I was disappointed time and again. Finally, I saw a positive pregnancy test and I was feeling so thankful that you were finally coming into our lives. Although I had morning sickness every day and couldn’t eat, I still looked forward to meeting you. Every night, I wondered if you would look more like your daddy or me.”

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Fu continued, “When you were 10 weeks and five days old, I went for my regular checkup and was happily taking photos when the doctor suddenly told me that the skin at the back of your neck looked thick. I had no time to react because I didn’t know what that meant, and the first thing that I asked him was, ‘Is there a problem?’ He said you’d have to get your blood tested as the thick nuchal fold was an indication that you could have Down syndrome or heart problems.”

Fu spent a week researching on the Internet for more information and speaking to mothers with children with Down’s. Fu decided that they would have the baby after discussing it with her husband, even if the test result came back positive, as reported by 8days.sg.

“We have the ability to look after you and give you all our love,” she wrote. “But the doctor called and said that you don’t have Down’s, but had [Edward syndrome] instead (…) Why did this happen to me? Most foetuses with this disorder die before they are born, and even if they manage to be carried to term, they could only have months, hours or even minutes to live.”

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Fu still held on to the hope that she did not have to go through the abortion on the day she was scheduled to see the doctor. Unfortunately, the ultrasound showed that the baby’s left and right brains were fused together. The baby also had heart problems, no nasal bone and its intestines were outside of its body. She then decided to terminate the pregnancy.

Leanne Fu had to terminate two pregnancies within a year. Picture: Instagram

“The doctor suggested that I go through the abortion as soon as possible, but there was one thing I wanted to do before that,” Leanne admitted. “When I was pregnant for the first time, I didn’t take any photos. This time, I wanted all four of us to take a family photo together because I believe this will be my last pregnancy. I don’t have the courage to try and fail again. My tears have dried up and my heart has shattered.”

She then apologised to her unborn child, saying that she’s sorry that she doesn’t “have the courage to give birth to you because I can’t bear to only see you for that [short amount of time] after you’re born. I’m not lucky enough to have you. I’ve used up all my luck in this lifetime when I got married to your dad and had your older sister. Mummy’s sorry that I won’t be able to give birth to you, but I hope that you know that mummy and daddy will always love you.” /TISG