‘I feel useless’: Singaporean woman opens up about her stressful first week at work

SINGAPORE: Starting a new job is always a trial by fire, but for one Singaporean worker, it became so overwhelming that she ran to the bathroom in her first week and simply dissolved into a puddle of tears.

The woman said that at the time, she felt utterly “useless” because she “wasn’t understanding things” and kept making mistakes, even when she thought she had done everything correctly.

To make matters worse, her colleagues seemed to have taken a personal vow to criticise everything she did.

According to her account, some of them repeatedly pointed out how slowly she was progressing and constantly compared her to another colleague, who seemed to grasp things more quickly.

Although she admitted that there was some truth to their criticism, as she tends to learn more slowly than others, she stressed that she always gives her best.

“I always give my absolute best, even if it means working overtime or staying up late to understand new concepts,” she said. 

Still, despite her determination to carry on, the woman confessed that she is now having doubts about continuing in her role because she no longer feels safe approaching her colleagues. She feels that they are completely done “with her stupid questions.”

“How do I stop being so emotional and crying over situations like this? I feel like I cry easily, which makes me feel even more worthless and stupid for doing so,” she added.

Chances are a lot of us have been in her shoes, feeling like our coworkers don’t really like us, thinking they’re just waiting for us to quit, getting those sharp looks for asking even the simplest questions, and hearing that little voice in our heads whisper over and over that we’re never going to be good enough, no matter how hard we try.

Career experts say that what she, and many of us, experienced is known as new job anxiety, and that 82% of professionals have felt it at some point.

The good news is that this typically lasts only a few days or weeks, and there are ways to overcome it.

Overcoming new job anxiety

Prepare for day one

Being well-prepared can reduce anxiety. Career experts recommend thoroughly researching your company, team, and role before your first day.

Go over any materials your employer has given you a few times so you feel more confident. 

Also, pick out your first-day outfit the night before so you are ready to go in the morning without any last-minute panic.

Think positive

During your first week, take a moment now and then to remind yourself why the company chose to hire you out of dozens, or perhaps even hundreds, of applicants. They clearly saw something special in you, a unique skill, talent, or quality that set you apart from everyone else.

Additionally, try saying a few positive affirmations before work, like “I am capable,” “I know what I’m doing,” or “I have the skills for this job.”

Don’t be too hard on yourself

Shut down that little voice in your head that keeps criticising you every time you make a mistake. Everyone messes up when they’re starting a new job, and no one gets it right from day one, so give yourself a break. 

If a colleague points out a mistake in your first week or month, try to tune out the negativity and just focus on the useful part. Take what helps you get better and let the rest slide.

And don’t forget to look after yourself. Make sure you take a bit of time to rest and recharge after a long, demanding day.

Connect with your coworkers

Try to get to know your colleagues. Start conversations, even with people you wouldn’t normally talk to, and see if you can learn something new about at least one person each day. Who knows, one of them might even offer to mentor you or show you the ropes around the company.

Read also: SG worker stunned to learn overseas teams of eight handle what he does alone for lower pay