SINGAPORE: An 18-year-old girl from Singapore felt deeply upset when her mother repeatedly compared her to her more successful friends and even asked, ‘What have you done to make us proud of you?’
Posting her story on the r/SGexams forum on Sunday (Jan 12), she shared how her mother always rubbed salt in her wounds instead of offering the support she desperately needed during tough times.
When she fell into a downward spiral and was expelled from Junior College (JC), her mother pointedly asked her, “Why can’t you be more like others? You see, your friends are already graduating, but you kena kicked out of your JC.”
“I always just laugh it off, but don’t you think I feel bad already? When JC started, I was the same hopeful, ambitious kid I always were, but a whole lotta things happened in JC that made me lose my faith in people and myself,” she expressed.
“I lost everybody I ever had; I lost myself. I couldn’t even wake up to brush my teeth; I went WEEKS without showering,” she said, describing the toll her mental and emotional struggles took on her everyday life.
The girl also mentioned that although she tried time and time again to push through her depression and work on herself, she was never successful.
“I was so frustrated and hopeless. One day, I snapped in the toilet. I was going to cry, but a cleaner was there to wash the toilets. I lost it. I ran out and kicked over a rubbish bin nearby, and then had to pick everything that spilt out one by one while sobbing,” she wrote.
Despite her academic setbacks, mental health struggles, and her mother’s discouraging words, the girl made a promise to herself: this year, she would give it her all to turn things around.
“It’s an apology to myself. And maybe, hopefully, at the end of the year, I can come back here and say that I don’t hate myself anymore,” she said.
“Everyone has different timelines. You never know how yours will go…”
In the thread, many Singaporean Redditors offered the young, struggling Singaporean words of comfort and encouragement.
One Redditor told her, “You were depressed. It’s already an amazing achievement to claw yourself out of that hole and hitch yourself over the edge back onto the ground.
I think you’re still young. To me, screwing up before Uni is still very, very salvageable. And nobody cares how you get there once you’re through it.”
Another commented, “Everyone has different timelines. You never know how yours will go. Keep trying your best and aim to improve (life and conduct). Some are better now; some are better later in life. Go strong.”
Others even offered to lend her an ear if she ever found herself in a dark place again.
One Redditor said, “My DMs are open if you need someone to talk to. It sounds like you didn’t have many people to support you when times are tough, and we all deserve that someone. Please do reach out!”
Some also called out her parents, particularly her mother, for putting too much pressure on her and making those harsh comparisons.
One Redditor expressed, “The problem is that your parents expect too much of you, and worse, they don’t appreciate you for who you are. Incessant comparison from parents isn’t your fault; it’s theirs.
They are just projecting their wants onto you. You should focus on yourself, your needs and your goals. “
In other news, a man took to Reddit on Tuesday (Jan 7) to ask if he and his non-local PR wife, who has zero savings, can afford to have a baby in Singapore.
He shared his concerns on the r/askSingapore forum, saying his wife’s been wanting to start a family for a while, but he’s been holding back because of the financial stress he’s dealing with.
Read more: My wife has no savings; can we still afford to have a baby in Singapore?
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