Singapore woman wants to quit job but is scared of her boss: ‘How do I bring myself to tell her?’

SINGAPORE: She has the savings, she has had enough of the job, and she knows she wants out. There is just one rather awkward obstacle standing in her way: telling her boss.

A 30-year-old Singaporean woman has turned to fellow locals online for advice after reaching what she describes as an exceptionally low point in her working life.

Posting on the r/askSingapore subreddit on Monday (Aug 17), she said that after one and a half years with the company, the job had left her “extremely burnt out and mentally stressed” on a daily basis.

“I’m having multiple anxiety attacks (think chest tightening, feelings of doom, and crying in the toilet/to sleep) in the workday.”

“The workload is insanity, and I hate it. I’ve lost all interest in my hobbies; I used to weightlift a lot and walk my dog / cook after work, but now my husband is the one doing all this. I want to quit without a job. I have never felt so low in my working life before. I show up to the office almost every day feeling so anxious and scared all the time.”

Unfortunately, as much as she wants to throw in the towel, she said she cannot bring herself to resign because she is terrified of her boss.

“I’m scared of my boss and can’t imagine how to bring myself to tell her. She’s known to be mean and has gaslit / talked behind my back multiple times before.”

“Every time I think of telling her, I just can’t seem to pull the trigger and end up not doing it. Then the cycle continues.”

Financially, at least, there appears to be little keeping her there.

The woman said she and her husband are a DINK, or dual-income-no-kids, couple with no major financial commitments. She also said she has enough savings to last at least two years.

Seeking advice, she asked the online community: “How/when should I tell my boss I want to quit? I was thinking of doing it on my 1 WFH day on a Teams call. Any advice/encouragement/tips, please.”

‘You are going to be ok. No need to be scared of resigning’

In the comments, many users encouraged the woman not to overthink her resignation and simply follow the usual process.

“Just write a simple resignation letter stating your last day and email it to your manager, cc’ing HR. Don’t have to talk to her if you don’t want to. She will probably have to approach you instead,” one wrote. “As long as you resign within your contract’s obligations in terms of notice period, there is no issue.”

Another added there was no need to write a long letter explaining all her grievances. “Just write one or two paragraphs of, ‘I hereby tender my resignation.’ Thank the company, and that’s it.”

A third user reminded her that her boss could not stop her from resigning. 

“Boss can’t stop you from resigning. Nor can the company; if either of them tries, you can report them to MOM. Resign on good terms, or as good as it can be. 

“But before you do, tell your husband because this is a serious decision, and he needs to know it’s happening before you resign. This is so he can prepare to shoulder the financial burden while you find your next job.”

A fourth reminded her, “You are not a slave; nobody is going to do anything to you. You are going to be ok. No need to be scared of resigning. Nobody can do anything to you.”/TISG

Read also: ‘Our lives will henceforth forever be different’: Singapore woman on growing apart from SAHM friend