Singaporean TikToker responds to ‘incel’ culture: Don’t mistake gentleness as weakness

SINGAPORE: A Singapore-based TikToker has struck a nerve online with a spoken-word video taking apart the logic behind modern incel ideology, earning praise for being both sharp and surprisingly even-handed in how it tackled the topic.

The video opens by reclaiming the original meaning of the term “incel”, which originally meant involuntarily celibate, before addressing how the label has since evolved into something broader: a worldview rooted in resentment towards women, often paired with the belief that men are inherently superior.

You may see the video here.

Picking apart the ‘men are superior’ argument

Rather than simply dismissing that mindset, the creator methodically challenges its underlying logic. On the claim that physical strength justifies dominance, the video argues that a worldview built purely on “might makes right” would leave even its strongest believers vulnerable to someone even stronger, undermining the very premise it’s built on.

On the idea that men are more naturally suited to logic while women are “too emotional,”“the creator pushes back by pointing to the role emotion and compassion play in holding civilisation together, while also noting that without emotional reasoning, even something like NASA’s space programme wouldn’t have succeeded.

The video also traces the roots of these gender assumptions back to early hunter-gatherer divisions of labour, arguing that those circumstances shouldn’t dictate what people are capable of today, particularly now that men and women are roughly on equal footing in education.

Addressing real grievances, not just dismissing them

What seems to have resonated most with viewers is that the creator doesn’t simply wave away male frustration. The video directly acknowledges the two years many Singaporean men lose to National Service, framing the resentment some feel toward women “getting ahead” during that time as understandable, even if misdirected.

The video’s closing argument reframes the entire issue: that the hostility some men feel toward women isn’t really about superiority at all, but about fear of falling behind. This sentiment was summed up in the line that closes out the piece, suggesting that what’s framed as hatred is often really about feeling unworthy rather than genuinely superior.

Netizens react

The video drew an enthusiastic response in the comments, with many praising both the delivery and the substance of the argument.

“Intelligent take and well spoken, always love your content,” one commenter wrote, while another simply said, “Ok, you can have a podcast.” This shows a nod of approval to how polished and structured the delivery felt, and how people are willing to listen to the creator’s thoughts.

Some comments leaned into wordplay. “Is the opposite of incel an excel?” one user joked.

Others were more sceptical about whether the message would actually land with its intended audience. “I think the monkey brain guys you try to address will never understand what you just said, their skulls are just too thick,” one commenter remarked, echoing the “monkey brain” language used in the video itself. More than that, it may also be implying that the video itself would not reach the target audience because the same group of people would unlikely have the video recommended to them in their algorithm.

Videos like this tap into an ongoing conversation in Singapore (and beyond) about how to talk to young men about gender resentment without either excusing harmful attitudes or dismissing genuine frustrations outright. By validating specific grievances, like National Service, while still firmly challenging the broader ideology, the creator’s approach appears to be landing in a way that more confrontational takes on the same topic often don’t.