SINGAPORE: In the quest for love, what matters more: looks or emotional compatibility?
In a recent Reddit discussion where the locals were asked what qualities they sought in a partner, most men and women answered the latter.
What Singaporean women want
Regardless of their relationship status, many women entered the conversation and discussed what they wanted in a partner.
The key qualities that stood out among their preferences were emotional intelligence, maturity, and compatibility in values, beliefs, interests, goals, and lifestyles.
Some women stressed how important it is to have a partner who can easily handle emotional ups and downs, someone who will be there for them during good times and tough or trying moments.
A few also mentioned that they wanted a partner who would always make them feel loved and secure, not someone who was wishy-washy about their feelings and intentions.
In addition to emotional intelligence and commitment, these women highlighted several other characteristics they find essential in a partner. Honesty was mentioned as a fundamental trait.
One woman commented, “Honesty/upright – not only that he doesn’t cheat/lie, but he lives a virtuous life. This means doing what’s right and never at the expense of others. No games and no manipulation.”
They also mentioned “accountability, self-awareness, and a good temperament.”
As for the man’s finances, most women expressed that their partner doesn’t necessarily have to be a millionaire but that they must at least be financially literate and determined to level up in life.
One woman added, “He doesn’t have to be rich, and he doesn’t have to support me. He just has to have enough to support himself and can pitch in to plan for our future together. He doesn’t need to buy stuff for me.”
Another said, “I don’t think money is necessarily the first thing girls look for in a guy, but usually, after some time together – we start to talk about the future and our hopes – if, at this point, things don’t match or add up, the best thing to do is to break it off.”
Looks were at the bottom of their list. Most of them said that this was only a bonus quality.
While they acknowledged that physical attraction is a catalyst in most relationships, they also stated that it is meaningless without emotional qualities.
One woman said, “Looks/height is a plus, but not a must, and neither is wealth–that’s what I have my own job for.”
What Singaporean men want
Similarly, the majority of Singaporean men expressed a desire for a partner who could establish a deep connection with them and share their hobbies, interests, and spending habits.
One man said, “Someone who will do everything with me, geek/nerd out over the same things, get each other involved in each other interest.”
Another commented, “Someone who is feminine and shares the same morals and values. Someone who can make a solid good friend would be great.”
However, some men stressed the importance of finding a partner who brings them peace rather than chaos. They noted that their work already brings enough stress, so they seek a partner to create a safe and comforting environment at home.
Although many would disagree, one man openly said he preferred a feminine woman who can cook and enjoys being a stay-at-home mom.
He said, “I don’t mind being the provider. I am very particular about kids respecting their mothers and forming a bond, so having an SAHM helps with that.”
Some also mentioned that they preferred an honest, open woman who says exactly what they want, without any riddles or mind games.
One man bluntly said, “If you don’t want/want something, voice it out. At most is a hard no. At best, you get what u wanted.
And also, if you want someone to share food with, just say it. Don’t play silly game saying are you hungry? Do you want to eat? This is unnecessary and adds toll to your relationship.”
Like women, most men also viewed physical appearance as a secondary aspect, considering it only as a bonus rather than a critical factor in choosing a partner.
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