10 predictions for National Day Rally 2016

The inevitable has arrived. After the fireworks from the National Day Parade, it is time to get down to business. Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong has never failed to throw the wet blanket on the party to deliver his annual hang-over speech, complete with features recycled from past years.

These are our top picks for what we will see tonight.

1. “Schooling’s da man!” – Honoured in Parliament, victory parade even before anyone else in his contingent got back from the Rio Olympics. Will that be all? Not for our golden boy! Expect PM to be gushing some more tonight!
2. Terrorists, terrorists, everywhere – Yup, we will get the same warning again. Because there is no better time to justify installing 32,000 cameras island-wide. This will usually be accompanied by profuse nodding by the Minister of Home Affairs.
3. Handouts, did you say? – Medishield Life, CPF Life and Pioneer Generation Package will stay, but hey, no harm rubbing them in some more to show precisely how much the gahmen loves us.
4. We are going to be some hub for something, again – Because that is what we are always good at. If we can’t show that we can do it, better tell everyone how we will let others do it, then tax them for it.

5. PM’s wife in pajamas – If there is one thing we can count on, it will be Mdm Ho Ching’s impeccable dress sense. It’s like the Queen with her hat and crown, nothing else speaks of national stability and permanence.
6. Stunning architecture visuals of some stuff we are going to build – Appealing to our sense of spacial inadequacy, prepared to be wowed by how our concrete jungle continues to grow upwards relentlessly, along with a hefty price tag.
7. Video testimonials from citizens – Just when you thought all the good stuff is getting unbelievable, we will surely see some Singaporeans, in CMIO configuration, vouch for their confidence in Singapore’s future.
8. This is home, truly – Without fail, we can expect this rallying call from the PM. This is the place where we call home, where our dreams can grow, etc etc.
[fvplayer src=”http://youtube.com/watch?v=L8DN6KFK0Ho”]
9. Pokemon – Because we know PM is a tech junkie, and he probably already bagged a Dragonite, you can count on him to try and appeal to popular culture to affirm his street cred. Go, PM, gotta catch them all!