International Asia NUS graduate: Couples should work as a team and be less calculative

NUS graduate: Couples should work as a team and be less calculative

Former student advises couples to split the bill in her response to an ongoing conversation on NUS Whispers regarding expectations on who should pay for dates.




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SINGAPORE-Is it a must for men to pay for their girlfriends or wives when they’re on a date? Although this is not an obligation for many, women will usually not reject a gentlemen’s show of generosity. However, this is not the case for a National University of Singapore (NUS) graduate who felt that expectations of boyfriends footing the bill should end.

In a post on NUS’ confessional Facebook page NUS Whispers, an anonymous woman shared how she and her then-boyfriend (now husband) had worked together to save a substantial amount of money for their future.

This was presumably made in response to an ongoing conversation on NUS Whispers regarding expectations on who should pay for dates.

In the post, the woman said that she had met her husband while studying at the NUS. He went on to graduate a year earlier than she did and as soon as she graduated, the duo tied the knot.

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According to the woman, this was without any form of financial help from their parents. She added that both of them managed to save over S$250,000 together by the time they turned 30, through a joint account that they had set up.

However, this came at the expense of their holidays. Both of them had to give private tuition instead of going for vacations.

The woman’s boyfriend also had to take up a temporary part-time job as a waiter to make ends meet since he was not able to land a job immediately after graduating.

Currently, the couple live in a condominium with their children.

In the post, the woman shared an essential and inspiring lesson, that is the importance of a couple working together as a team, and supporting each another.

Also, she expressed her confusion with social expectations that it is men who should foot the bill during dates. Sharing her personal experiences, she recalls how her husband and her would split the bill for their initial dates.

This was followed by her treating him to dinner dates after she had started earning more than him in her first job.

Ending the post with a timely and essential lesson, she said, “If you love somebody wholeheartedly and see a future with them, work together as a team. Make it work. Don’t be so calculative.”

This is the original post:

Honestly, what's with the recent truckload of guy having to pay for girl and all that bullshit. My story – Singaporean…

Posted by NUSWhispers on Wednesday, 15 May 2019

It would seem that there is a heated discussion being had on the controversial expectation that men should be shouldering the bill on dates, with many sharing their personal opinions online.

Hi #63298, I'm a Singaporean girl and I agree with you that Singaporean girls might possibly be the worst of all.I…

Posted by NUSWhispers on Wednesday, 15 May 2019


My bf's monthly income is 6x of mine. Yes, 6. But when we go out for meals I would say it's about 50-50 or 60-40 at…

Posted by NUSWhispers on Wednesday, 15 May 2019

Perhaps, this expectation would have made sense and be valid in the past when gender stereotypes were much more prevalent and where such traditional values were not repeatedly challenged.

However, in the 21st century where feminism and equality of both genders have been advocated time and time again, the act of men picking up the tab during dates seems less understandable.

Regarding this, reactions to the woman’s post were mostly positive, with many treating it as a form of inspiration.


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