Singapore — A girlfriend asked if she should still stay with her boyfriend after finding out that he used to visit prostitutes when he was younger.
She added that he also hid this information from her and only mentioned it three years into the relationship.
The girlfriend added that her boyfriend used to visit prostitutes only in his early 20s, and has been faithful towards her for the span of their relationship.
She wrote: “To elaborate on what happened, he was young and single (and kind of desperate) back then, so he paid for prostitutes to satisfy his needs. I understand from his standpoint because they have their needs, and his only outlet then was paying for sex”.
However, she added that her frustrations came because he did not tell her through the course of their relationship, and she only got to know about it after dating him for three years.
She said that her boyfriend should have come clean at the beginning of the relationship, and allow her the option of deciding once she knew the truth. But, her boyfriend himself admitted that he was afraid she would leave once she found out the truth, which is why he held off telling her for so long.
“Because it’s really a fact right now that I’m 3 years invested in this relationship and the stakes are so high that I can’t just walk away. I felt really angry because I FELT (personal opinion) he got exactly what he wanted and I’m really playing in the palm of his hand”, she wrote in her anonymous post on popular confessions Facebook page NUSWhispers.
Though she admitted that a part of her wanted to leave his past where it belonged, she revealed that there was indeed more to the story.
When her boyfriend’s brother had relations with his married female colleague, her boyfriend advised: “if you’re just itching, I have contacts for prostitutes. But DON’T ever start a relationship with your female colleague”. Her issue was how casually he took physical cheating and emotional cheating.
She added that her boyfriend’s brother eventually cheated on his own wife and “After introducing his bro to the world of prostitutes, his bro engage (sic) in such services frequently (after he and his wife divorced)”.
Complaining about her boyfriend’s brother she wrote that “he told my bf he’s gonna find (sic) prostitute, and HAD THE AUDACITY to ask my bf if he wanted to go as well”.
While her boyfriend played the entire thing off as a joke, she felt that it said a lot more about their morals.
“I’m also finding it really difficult to reconcile with the whole physical vs emotional cheating theory he mentioned back then. Although he regretted what he said, it still makes me question his innate values”, she added.
Asking netizens for advice with her boyfriend, she wrote: “I’m just thinking in the future, will I ever look back at my stupid self today for seeing the red flags but not acting on it by leaving this relationship just because he hasn’t cheated YET”.
Netizens were divided in the advice they gave her.
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